today and yesterday have been all sorts of chaotic. yesterday was rough for work. we got busy, I fucked up a bunch, it happens, whatever. however, said coworker really struggles to keep a level head when things aren’t the way he expects. that’s especially hard for me because I mess up a lot, and I’m quite clumsy. I’m already frustrated enough with myself, I’m just trying to get through it too. I’m adjusting to my capacities as well. there’s just been a lot of tension anyway with his feelings for my presence. but anyway, he was extremely frustrated with me and therefore short and snappy and kept saying rude things under his breath. it all just kinda came to a head and when my boss came in, I took a break immediately to go sit in the bathroom and cry it out for a bit. I was having lots of big feelings. I came back out and my boss and I talked about what happened. he said a bunch of really kind things to me, like “don’t feel like you don’t belong here or that you’re a burden, cause you’re not.” he totally understood and was on my side throughout the whole thing.

so then today comes along. I’m already shaking in my boots having to deal with this conflict for the second day in a row which helped absolutely nothing. the first thing that coworker said to me was “so I heard you think I’m being mean to you” like oh dear lord here we go. it very obviously was a rough conversation, but I stood up for myself which felt powerful. we didn’t end on a great note and he pretty much ignored me all day so that was cool.. he told me he didn’t appreciate me talking to my bosses about it and him having to have a whole conversation at our sister location during work. like dude yeah, I’m sure you didn’t. it wasn’t supposed to be a great thing that you’re in trouble cause you’re being a dick. but anyway, that was work the last two days.

school has been awesome though. yesterday, we had a test. I passed, only missing one. our instructor really got us all worried about it being a difficult chapter and test all for it to go quickly and easily. he gave us free time after that to work on our mannequins, doing anything we wanted. I started trying to recreate a haircut I saw on someone I met once. shoutout @hailstormtattoos for that inspiration. it’s rough but it’s going! I’m learning as I go and bullshitting most of it. cutting hair has been such a joy and peace in my life.

I taught one of my peers how to braid for the first time and he actually did really well! he picked it up quite quickly and was super excited for the new skill. chatting with another peer, he said my pronouns wrong and IMMEDIATELY fixed it which was so super cute. I love when my correct pronouns are used, whether you have to correct yourself or not. I’m just glad people are on board and trying. it was really adorable though, he apologized and everything.

today at school we did wet sets and finger curls. I definitely needed that after my day. it was a lot of patience work, something I really do truly love. it’s a good skill to have under my belt, but pretty useless in the grand scheme of things. monday, we’re off, so tuesday, we’ll get back to our finger curls and we have a hot tools class to sit through. we start taking clients the following monday which is really quite scary but I’m excited to learn more and get practical knowledge.

for the most part, I’m doing well, all things considered. I rest a lot when I get home from work every day, watch a lot of netflix, do a lot of cross stitch, the usual. just trying to keep up with my routine and all my daily activities. I’m pretty confident in my work/school/life balance working out so far. I got two of my plants in today by the way! very exciting, they are potted in my new pots finally, we’re just waiting on one more plant to arrive to go in my disco ball planter. that’s probably the best part of today. what’s the best part of living in your big world?