I have had a very long two days. fantastic, but jam packed. yesterday was an early day. thankfully, I got to work with my boss which is the best part of the week, we have so much fun. we work so well together too, extremely helpful to my mood and self esteem. I have the most AMAZING bosses. they are absolute gems. I got to clean the big windows and everything in the window area as well. this is very exciting for me because things definitely need a good clean. I do, and did, enjoy uninterrupted hyperfixation clean. things were different colors by the time I had cleaned them.

we closed early because the bosses had two huge events to cater.

there was a punk event going on about half an hour away, and I had work later so I had hours to fill. it was much bigger than I thought it would be. there were lots of vendors and the local radio station. they gave out a bunch of free stuff which was cool. however, I was so embarrassed cause I was doing my homework and they said come up and get stickers. so I left my things and went up to the stage but three kids got to the stickers before me and this other guy so I had to walk of shame back to my belongings.. rip. however, I did have a lot of caffeine so I was hyper caffeinated, listening to loud punk music, and I was getting things DONE. it did take me three fuckin hours to get through one section though. it was ridiculous the amount of subsections.. the music was fun! not all great but all with a lot of heart. saw a bassist with a crop top which was awesome cause he’s salt n peppa’d up there. I enjoyed my time though, and it was outside, so I just sat under a tree the whole time. got mildly rained on, it was a good time.

then onto my second shift of the day at the grove. I much prefer the grove, I think. mostly due to having my own space. it was a great shift, lots of fun. I enjoyed that group of coworkers. I learned a lot and got to make a lot of drinks and chat with locals. though the socializing really is much.. I wish I had more time to take for myself outside of work and school, but I knew this part of my life was going to be hard work.

after work, I went to see the pretty girl, who by the way has floor to ceiling reptiles in this huge room. it’s wild how many there are. we had a great time together. that’s the pg version. ahem.. anyway, that was a very late night and I had to get up early this morning for my shift at the grove that began at 9am. thankfully, we’re only open until 2pm but it is a busy 5 hours. I enjoyed another shift and got to work with my boss, but I also got left alone on my own at the bar a lot, which is awesome cause I not only get to learn, but I have so much space to think and process participating in the world around me and also make coffee and alcoholic beverages. oh, and socialize like a motherfucker with allllll the locals and regulars. talk about having to be on, I am exhausted on socializing. I need as much time as I possibly can to decompress from the amount of adjustments I have to do to appear neurotypical and fit in to society so I don’t stand out. quiet is nice.

but anyway, one of the cooks told me I was killing it on bar so that was really sweet of him to say. I had a blast today for the most part. I did not steam the almond milk well at all, and obviously, did not get art out. I immediately felt the deep fear that my coworker was going to be angry with me and that’s just really fuckin sad cause like dude.. I’m just trying to have a good time but you gotta make it fuckin weird and angry for no reason. I’m tired of how deeply this is affecting me so if anyone has anything to add, please let me know. I do really think my emotional immune system is shot. the worst part is that it doesn’t have to be this way. but.. regardless, long day at work.

after work, I came home and did 4 hours of homework. and after that, I started this blog. I am quite ready to relax. thankfully I just have school tomorrow, though I do have a lot of homework to do after class. though truly, being in this big world is more and more interesting every day. stay tuned.