well, my day started by waking up to sunlight, which was absolutely not supposed to happen. I’m not really sure what the cause of that was since I specifically remember setting my alarm last night and I know I didn’t wake up and turn them both off. so anyway, rushed into work thinking I was going to get an earful about it but when I walked in and said I was late, the boss looked at the clock, looked at me, and was like “oh.. yeah.. you are. why?” so nonchalant, literally wasn’t even phased. nobody tried to call me this morning either. it’s kind of a struggle knowing they don’t really need me, or at least it feels that way.

I think it’s becoming clear I am the odd duck out. these two have been working together for years. obviously I’m new to the place and I’m fighting just to be considered competent between the two. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve screwed up orders or didn’t hear somebody or don’t remember what they said before the last thing. it’s extremely frustrating feeling like I’m on the right path, just to be told what I’m doing is wrong so often, and it’s not always gentle. I want to be better, I want to feel comfortable, but right now, it feels like I’m on the outside looking in, just trying to keep up. I swear I know what I’m doing, but I keep tripping over myself or asking questions I don’t get positive answers to. I guess this blog has turned into my personal journal, when I just wanted to keep y’all updated, oh well. I know I have skills and capacity and all the other positive things I’m supposed to tell myself, but these are the emotional bits, not the logical bits, give me a break.

school is much better. school is a lot of fun and I enjoy going. it’s quite the challenge but I am willing to continue to try and learn. we continued to cut our mannequin’s hair shorter, learning a few more hair cuts. honestly it feels really fast. I’m not retaining much on the correct steps which bothers me because I obviously would like to be doing that. it’s just such a short time, we’ve already cut hair down to a textured fringe, or as my teacher calls it, the alpaca haircut. I’ll put some pictures below of my end result.

the hair cuts have challenged me more than I expected but overall, I’m enjoying the push. I’m talking more to my classmates which has been cool to interact with such a small group. we test tomorrow. chapters get harder from here. I’ve been done with that chapter’s work for a while so I’m a little concerned about retaining some of the information for the test but we do a practice written test that we go over and then we review with questions straight off the test so I’ll be fine. unfortunately, we do theory work all day in class tomorrow which really sucks cause I’m done already with all my work for the next chapter as well.

I am missing school friday because I’m heading out to camp in the mountains. I’ll be there overnight, get up early, drive to omaha. I get to stay at my best friend’s house even though he’s not going to be there which is siiiiick. friday night is the first event of my 10 year reunion which feels weird that it’s already here. I think it’ll be fun to see how everybody has changed and who’s doing what. I picked out my outfits and packed already for the weekend. the high school tour is the day after at 10am which I’m excited to see how it’s all changed in all those years. then directly after that, back to CO. it’s going to be such a short turn around but I’ve got just enough time for everything.

overall, things are going really well. I’m pleasantly surprised I’m not as exhausted as I expected to be. oh, and I get the jewelry exchanged for my mantis tomorrow to smaller studs. it’ll be really nice to be able to not have huge studs on the front of my nose. I am looking forward to traveling a little and sleeping outside for a night. I love getting to breathe fresh air and see all of the stars in this big world we call home.