today went well overall. early morning, long day, but it went by. work was easy but a little slow today. at least my coworker is being nice to me. it’s still uncomfortable and there’s a huge communication gap but it’s getting better. I’m learning regular’s drinks slowly and they’re acknowledging me more. the one thing I have been noticing is how many people will acknowledge my coworker and want to chat. then they turn to me so they can order and that all goes away. their affect drops right away and they’re just trying to get through the interaction. it’s really weird but really consistent. small town bs I guess. I tried a flavor mix of pistachio and raspberry, which ended up tasting like fruity pebbles. I enjoyed that one.

school was frustrating as FUCK today. we learned finger waves, which, if you’ve never seen, go search that and tell me that looks easy to do. the lady on the video really did make it look much easier and quicker than it was. SO. MUCH. GEL. oh my goodness. it was less sensory bad than I thought it was going to be but regardless, highly annoying to have everywhere. I failed in epic proportions. I did not get one nice wave in the two hours we were given to work on it. my instructor gave me a pass on it anyway, thankfully, but I was fully ready to fail that grade. it was so frustrating I almost cried, which is ridiculous, but I could NOT get my brain to make my fingers do the thing correctly. we have to do two of those a month until the end of the year. that one got me emotionally wound up which I have not yet experienced, even with my failures.

we test tomorrow on that ridiculously long chapter and I am not sure I’ll do well. I am fully unprepared. a week was not at all long enough to shove all that info into my brain. I do think I’ll be okay, however, I am nervous to go through the test. not sure what we’ll do after that. we had a meeting individually to chat about our grades with our instructor today as well. my grade is at a 99% which is fantastic. we were told today that we start going to the VA soon and the 6 people with the highest GPAs get to go first. I am so nervous to cut hair on a real person. I feel SO unprepared honestly. I feel like I haven’t really learned anything. it’s all just a blur, we’re moving so quick. I do hope I can keep up throughout the year.

looking forward to the rest of the week and my time off. I do enjoy doing all of my activities, but it is a lot. hopefully, I can properly nourish myself while also doing all the things so I can keep going. just keep going, one day at a time in this big world.